So this new blog that I've been going on and on about is finally here! You can find it at http://shitigotupto.blogspot.com.au/ . So this other blog is going to be pretty different, you can read all about it in the introduction there. It will probably take over from this blog bit by bit.
So let me get on with it. So in Australia we have this thing called schoolies. What happens is that after our final exams we all go on a trip somewhere, usually up to the coast, and get fucking drunk for a week. My mates and I weren't really bothered to go up to a crowded city and be in the party scene so we went up to a little place called Woy Woy to chill. Basically we got drunk, fished (kinda) and smoked cigars. Bloody ripper of a time. I got drunk once this trip, sobered up a couple of days after I got home.
So you know this trip is ganna be great when four guys can't carry all the booze up to the rooms in one go. So basically the first thing we did after getting settled into the rooms was drink a bit...well I did. Just opened up a few bottles here and there, just for starters. Now I can't remember exactly which day we met up with my uncles mate but he was a little surprised when I refused a beer. Yes...yes I refused a beer. I mean it was around 3pm or something and I'd had at least a bottle or so by then. One beer leads to another and then the next thing you know I'm being kicked out of the RSL in Woy Woy...not an accolade you'd want. Anyways we had a nice dinner there. Yes, I'm capable of having nice dinners you fuckers. Just because I was drunk doesn't mean I wasn't respectful to the early bird diners there...even though it really didn't matter since they were going to kick the bucket soon. I also would have given them a good story to brighten up their dreary lives of shuffling around...fuck I should have been an asshole to help these poor old people.
After we parted ways with the uncle the plan after that was to go get maggot drunk...or well, in my case, it was to stay drunk and then to go fishing off the pier. We met some interesting characters, one by the name of Tiny, a fucking massive bloke, and the other figure was shrouded in mystery, only to be known as the majestic 'fuck knuckle'. These two interesting characters joined us in our drunken stupors and 'fishing'. Ok so let me clear things up, here in Straya we're allowed to drink in public if we are fishing. Fishing is defined as having a line in the water...it never specified if the line need have a) bait b) a hook or c) a sinker. So it was pretty much 6 drunk idiots sitting on the pier with lines in the water, pay no attention to them at all, smoking and drinking. What more could you ask for!? We even witnessed some gronk being kicked out of his RV after having an argument with his wife! I mean that's quality entertainment right there. He just dragged his ass to the pub, fuckin' Straya.
Sadly we had to part ways with Tiny and fuck knuckle but the fun didn't stop there. We stayed in our motel room drinking and talking shit. We even played shot chess. It's fucking great, you just keep losing pieces so you can drink more. We also played shot bullshit...now everyone knows what bullshit is. If you don't you can go and fuck yourself or look it up, either or. So basically I'd always call bullshit...even if my mates called 1 ace at the start of the game. I'm an alcoholic, if you hadn't figured this out by now. Don't judge me, you're living in your mum's basement. After a solid night of getting drunk and smoking it was time to sleep.
My mates had the best idea of going to play paintball at 7 in the fucking morning. I have a bad back so I told them to fuck right off. In any case they went and left me in a room full of alcohol for 4 or 5 hours... When they got back my face was red as fuck and there were a few empty bottles of whiskey and the like. I mean honestly...what did they expect. The rest of the trip was much the same, us wondering around like drunken toddlers. The only difference between my mates and I was that they sobered up several times throughout the trip...I'm convinced it was so they could laugh at the stupid shit I was doing...like throwing candy out the window trying to hit other drunk people. Or drinking baileys when I'm lactose intolerant. Or just watching me drunk talk for days... At one point we thought it'd be a great idea for four drunk teenagers to take a boat for a spin...ah fuck that was a good trip.
Check out my other blog, it might not be for everyone but give it a go. As always, you can fuck right off now.
-Bassam
