Without further adieu let's get back to what this blog is really about, alcohol. So do you guys and gals remember, in the post about sake? Where I mentioned how it's cold as your bitch of an exs heart when it's winter in Japan. In saying that, my most recent break up was alright, maybe they're not all bad. Food for thought! Hahah yeah you didn't think you'd have to think when you came to this blog did you, well tough tits. I'm very stimulating. I just realised how that sounded...no you got me, I don't write anything by accident. Back to my god damn point, if you don't remember the sake post then that's your loss because that was a choice blog post. I'm not about to go spoon feed you the details so go check it out using that side bar thing on the right. So winter in Japan might be cold but do you know where it's colder? Yeah you guessed it, Russia! The title may have given it away so no gold star for you. People say coffee is a hug from the inside...those people obviously haven't tried an Irish coffee. More importantly those people haven't tried or had enough Vodka. Now vodka tastes like absolute shit, hahah vodka joke, but it'll wake you right the hell up and give you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Kind of like a litter of puppies pilling on you. If you haven't had a litter of puppies jump on you all at once then go do that shit, they're adorable and fluffy. Either that or drink some vodka.
Now to keep in the spirit of things I'll provide some facts. It's usually around 40% ethanol which is a solid percentage. The funniest thing about this drink though is that it's name comes from a Slavic word for water, vod, yeah you know because it goes down just the same huh. This kind of explains a few of the stereotypes about the Russians and their love of vodka. I suppose it's fitting since it's basically water and ethanol, I mean why add flavour, ain't nobody got time for that when they're freezing their balls off up there. They just want puppy hugs! Don't let Russian people scare you, they're always giving out hugs...in bottles.
I don't really have a story for you about myself this time because I don't really enjoy drinking this stuff. I'd rather poison myself in other ways. But what I do have for you today is a great story of turning vodka into water, or well getting someone to believe that the vodka was water. So this guy was drunk as hell already...I mean he couldn't tell the difference between vodka and water. So what one of my mates decided to do was to play a drinking game, drink for drink. He filled his glass up with water from a vodka bottle and the other guy filled his with actual vodka. The poor soul. About 3 glasses in this guy threw up everywhere...I'm just happy it wasn't my house or I'd still be cleaning that shit up. It was a solid vomit stream, yeah a fucking stream, for at least 20 seconds. Have you guys ever seen supernatural? It looked like when the demons possessed someone or rushed out of them. Except replace that black stuff with vomit for 20 god damn seconds.
That pretty much says it all no?
"Watch this" - some idiot named Bassam says as he downs a whole bottle before attempting to jump over some barbed wire. Oh yeah...there's that story, just forgot about it. We'll leave that for another time shall we.
That's my time for today folks. Hope you enjoyed this shit as much as I did. Now back to my uni project where my group doesn't show up...again. Fucking, god damn, inconsiderate, uni students...the lot of them! And I just found out this girl I know uses her dog as a motorbike...may life show it mercy.
-Bassam
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